Selfishness, tears and never-ending LOVE...

Over the past month and a half, laziness and I have became good friends.

I got very used to lying around while reading, surfing the net, writing the occasional blog post and just "resting." {I sound like quite the winner, huh?!?} So when my leg could finally handle being in a position OTHER than elevated, I knew it was time to start work again...

So after a busy past couple of weeks, I finished up with these yesterday:

and boy does it feel SO good to be done!

After several consecutive full days and late nights of work, I was ready for a break!

So, on my way out of the grocery store today, I got myself a DVD to go home and watch. Usually, if I am to watch a movie, I do so after the kids are in bed. BUT, not today...

I came home and let Max put on a movie in the play room and I selfishly, sat down and began watching my movie. There was laundry to be folded, carpets needing vacuuming and probably 20 MORE things I could have done, but as I sat there like a LAZY BUM, I didn't feel remotely guilty about my decision or my actions.

It's OK to be selfish sometimes.

...and selfish I will be at the upcoming girls trip planned with your 3 BEAUTIFUL sisters! We are ALL very excited for our weekend getaway. Since this is a childless trip, I look forward to no whininess, no fighting and lots of uninterrupted conversations. I guess there could still be all of that, but at least it won't be from kids{ha ha} JUST kidding! I have started to feel sad about leaving the kids because I know I will miss them. However, the thought of being able to be COMPLETELY selfish and NOT feel guilty about it is a strange, but VERY welcomed feeling.

GEEZ, I hate how guilt so easily creeps its way into things!

So feeling kinda sad/guilty about leaving the kids and wanting to do something fun before I leave, I decided to take the kids out to dinner tonight. As we sat there talking and eating our pita bread with the yummy Tzatziki sauce and hummus, I started feeling weird. I tried to push whatever feelings aside and just focus on being with the kids- YAY!

Except "YAY" was NOT how I felt, I felt more like "blehhhhhh"

I kept trying to tell myself that we were out to have a GOOD time

&

It WASN'T working.

My eyes started to well up with tears and I was trying like MAD to hold them back. At that moment, I knew what the underlying cause of this sadness was- I felt empty. I looked around the restaurant and it was NOTHING but families/couples. Yes, I was there with our little family, but a BIG part of that family was missing, and it hurt.

I felt alone in my sadness, as everyone else there seemed so happy and content. {It was one of those, I just want to crawl into bed, feel sorry for myself and cry moments} Luckily, the two little munchkins saved me- I found myself frustrated with their craziness and laughing at their silliness and with that, the pain eased. I was able to continue on with the night and enjoy myself with the kids. We DID have a good time! {I must also thank the person who texted me with some Vanilla Ice lyrics for making me smile too- that was pretty funny!}

How grateful I am though for our two little cutie pies that keep me going each day.

They give me something to smile about {and yes, sometimes be frustrated and frazzled about}, but I love them to pieces.

I love them, just as I love you and

Some things, will NEVER change...