*31st* Birthday Celebrations...

What a fun-filled day...

It began with the kids opening gifts

We were going to BUILD-a-BEAR!

{Before Ryan passed away, some very sweet friends gave Ryan 3 Build-a-Bear voice recorders so he could leave messages for us. Along with those recorders, they also gave us a gift card so we could get animals for those recorders to go inside. After returning from the funeral in Wyoming, I took the kids to B-a-B to get our animals. I couldn't WAIT to hear the messages Ryan had left for each of us! Needless to say, the kids sleep with their animals EVERY night and go to sleep hearing Ryan tell them how much he loves them}

The kids were SO excited to go to B-a-B. Hallie got two VERY pink clothing items for Rainbow {her unicorn that has eyes "JUST like Daddy,"as she says}. Max on the other hand wanted NOTHING to do with the clothes. He walked away with a pair of skis/poles, roller skates and a fishing pole with magnetic fish for Fluffy {the panda}.

*So fun*

Once we finished there, it was time to head off to the Ostrich Farm.

If you are from the Tucson or surrounding area, pay a visit to the Ostrich Farm. It's rather inexpensive and fun for ALL ages.

BEWARE

...and boy, they DO! Max found out the hard way :(

Here are some of the animals you can see/feed at the farm:

{UGLY} Ostriches

{Cute} deer and donkeys

&

{Crazy} goats and lorikeet

Food for the animals:

EVERY time I see Max's face in the following picture, I can't help but laugh...

PRICELESS

{these birds may look cute and friendly, but they are kinda crazy lil' birds. They peck at one another if one comes too close to getting some food and if you try to shoo them away, they have no problems taking a peck at YOU- Watch OUT!}

Your mom enjoying the Lorikeet love

**

Once we fed all the animals, we headed off to the "Peanut Butter place":

I know this probably wasn't your FAVORITE place to eat, but this was a place you very much enjoyed- my country boy definitely loved his STEAK and potatoes :)

The peanuts that make Texas Roadhouse the "peanut butter place," the YUMMY rolls and your FAVORITE steak sauce:

*

We finished up at Texas Roadhouse and headed to the store for some balloons.

{At the burial in Wyoming, we had over 2 dozen balloons family wrote messages on so we could send them off to you} Since then, for major holidays/events we have continued the same tradition...

Heavenly messages...

~Love YOU~

*

We let the kids pick out a movie and had MOVIE NIGHT. A tradition that you started with the family that we have continued {and LOVE} every week.

Watching 'Around the World in 80 Days'

*

Although it was NOT my birthday, I received some very thoughtful gifts:

Several family members wrote me letters about YOU- what a wonderful {and cherished} present to receive. In those letters they talked about you, your example and the inspiration you have been and will continue to be. Then, we had a wonderful surprise at the door with an Edible Arrangements from your siblings. Such thoughtful and DELSIH gifts

Thank YOU guys for thinking of us on Ry's day!

*

Your birthday stuff on display:

It was now time for some CAKE :)

"Happy Birthday to YOU

Happy Birthday to YOU

Happy Birthday DEAR Ryan/Daddy

Happy BIRTHDAY to you"

After we ate some cake, we opened the smaller part of your birthday gift:

a new, shiny key ring for your truck keys.

The rest of your present wouldn't be coming for another 2 weeks....

Part of your Birthday morning was spent taking the truck in to get an estimate of how much all the internal repairs would cost- Oh, just a few THOUSAND dollars :( Sadly, that is only about 1/3 of what needs to be done to get it all hot-roded out. Fixing up this truck is going to be quite time consuming and quite expensive, but DEFINITELY worth it!

So, I decided that for every Birthday/Christmas you will get something for the truck. I was so lost on where to start, but thought I would begin with replacing THIS:

It was time for this very sad, little mirror to GO. It would NEVER stay up and when it was in the correct position, it was so blurry you couldn't even see out it. It was pretty much useless!

After much waiting, we heard a ring at the doorbell to find this waiting for us:

{I only took a picture of the "popcorn" because I spent the next week finding it ALL over the house- SUPER fun!}

So, I go to install your mirror and the two parts don't fit together- one of the parts was too big. Why in the world would they send you parts that DON'T fit together. {I was just a tad annoyed} What the hek was I gonna do?

Hmmmmmmmm....

I knew I could call our good friend who is quite the do-it yourself handyman kinda guy. But I call with questions all the time and didn't want to annoy him with a "can you fix this for me?!?"

Shoot. WHAT TO DO?

THEN, I remembered about this:

YOUR Dremel.

{I was pretty sure a Dremel could sand down different materials}

When you were in remission, you had gone to the store and picked up this:

A 75 pc set for your Dremel.

I remember when you told me that you were going to buy it, I said, "OK" but inside thought, "Do YOU really need this?!?!?!"

Well, let me TELL YOU... I am sure glad you bought it!

I looked in the little manual to see what bit I needed to sand down metal.

FOUND IT:

SweeeeeeeeT!!!!

But THEN, I couldn't for the LIFE of me figure out how to remove the bit.

So whenever I don't know the answer/how to do something, I turn to Google.

I really do {heart} GOOGLE

Seriously, what would I do without it?!?

All ready to go:

and after about a good 30 minutes of sanding and re-fitting

It FINALLY fits:

Woot woot!

My little "helpers"

The first part of the installation

The second {and MAIN} part of the installation

YAY to a job WELL done

We LOVE it...

Hope you like it too!

***Happy Birthday My LOVE***

Thank you for blessing this world for 30 wonderful years

I hope everyday is a celebration for you, because YOU definitely deserve it.

{P.S.- I had to put some of your favorite songs to accompany this post :) }

All is well...

Surgery day started bright and early. To my surprise, 2 of my favorite little people were awake too {they SHOULD have been in bed, it was 5am!} BUT, I was glad to see their cute little faces and tell them 'BYE' before I left.

The only benefit to being awake and on the road at 5:30am-Ummmm... nothing!

We got to the hospital, checked in and waited to be called to the pre-op area

They called my name and took me back.

It was time to get all ready: sign a few papers, change into the "HOT" hospital gown, meet the docs and get the IV started.

They left this out for me to wear and I left it off for a reason...

Waiting...

Happy and ready to go!

Dr. Klein came in, asked me which leg he was operating on, I told him and he marked it up.

Yes, THAT one:

The anesthesiologist came in to talk about risks and all that fun stuff. He offered to give me a femoral nerve block {which is basically like an epidural in your leg to help with pain post surgery} and I opted to get it. As he was getting everything ready, it ALL hit me and became more "real." It was at that point that I was trying to hold back tears because again, I missed my Ry. I took a deep breath and tried my hardest to be strong.

Before I knew it, they were wheeling me into the surgery room and asking me to move onto the surgery table. The last thing I remember is some lady telling me to breath oxygen from the mask...

Surgery went very well and I was home by 12pm that day. The pain wasn't bad at all, but the nauseousness was horrible. I was really tired and every time I started to drift off, I woke up because I wanted to throw up. The few times I did get up, I got really sick. Finally, by 6pm the nausea wore off and I felt 100% better.

Since coming home, I set this:

and spend much of the day {like 6-8 hours} in THIS machine

so my leg can constantly bend up and down to help with ROM {range of motion}

The day after surgery, I went to the Dr to get all my dressings taken off:

Dr K said everything is looking pretty good, that I need to work on fully extending my leg and that I can't get the incisions wet for 2 weeks :( I FINALLY took my first bath yesterday and it was WONDERFUL!

More pix of the swollen leg

another view for comparison sake

On to the good news...

I've been doing so well, that I actually upgraded my means of transportation.

Since I am now walking, I was able to ditch the crutches for this:

Ya, BE JEALOUS!

It has been great having my parents here. My dad has done a wonderful job keeping the kids happy and entertained and my mom is the best nurse EVER! I am so lucky to have them here because they are so much help!

All is well Babe...

I couldn't have asked for a smoother recovery.

~Love YOU tons~

What to expect...

Wow, I've been JUST a little busy lately. Although blogging is ALWAYS on my mind, it's kind of the last thing I want to do when I've been at the computer for a while working on these:

I really do LOVE tax season- I look forward to it every year. I LOVE that I can do it from home, make use of my accounting degree, and work for a laid back/easy to work for boss{who's also a good friend and workout buddy :) } Except lately, ALL I want to do is kick my feet up and watch movies {and yes, I have been doing quite a bit of that} BUT, I do have good reasons...

Our city rec program has an adult coed soccer league that I joined last year with a bunch of friends. I LOVE soccer- I grew up playing and watching it. As an adult, it's nice to finally do something physical that I REALLY enjoy {because you and I both know that running is NOT something I LOVE!!!} The season had just started about a month ago and then,

THIS happened:

No this is NOT me, but I looked JUST like that!

{Ronaldo-one of the BEST soccer players ever}

I wish I had some cool story to tell about how it happened, but I don't. I stepped to my left and as my foot went down, I heard two cracking sounds and fell STRAIGHT to the ground in fetal position. I had INSTA-pain and went down grabbing my left knee {like picture above} and was kind of screaming and moaning because the pain was SO bad {JUST like picture above}

OUCH! It was horrible {DEF my worst.pain.EVER}

I got through it with the help of wonderful teammates and friends who {literally} carried me.

As painful as it was, the hardest part through it all was NOT having you there. As I laid on the sidelines, wondering what was wrong {because the pain was SO insane in my knee/leg} or what to do {should I go to the ER, go home, who should I call?} I JUST wanted you. I wanted you to hold me on that field and tell me everything was going to be okay. When you are in pain physically, it definitely makes things MUCH harder emotionally. I laid there and started crying because the pain was getting more and more intense and the thought of not having you there made me really sad and maybe a little frustrated too {the ANGER stage has been making its presence in this whole grief process lately}. Frustrated to be in pain knowing you were NEVER going to come and comfort me. Frustrated to be making calls to get babysitting and other arrangements made, when that was the LAST thing I wanted to deal with. Frustrated that I was having to rely on EVERYONE else. When really, ALL I wanted was YOU.

To put it lightly- it SUCKED.

I am though VERY grateful for my wonderful teammates who got me off the field, into the car and home with the most TENDER of care. VERY GRATEFUL to Dr. B, who of course came to my rescue and pulled LOTS of strings {again} to get my x-rays, MRI and apt with the orthopedic surgeon all taken care of within 1 day {Yes, he is AWESOME like that}. So THANKFUL for my {generous, loving and AMAZING} friends who stayed with me till 1 am {and offered to spend the night with me} to make sure that I was okay, watched my children so I could rest, made meals so I could stay off my bum knee, chauffeured me around to various apts, cleaned my house and those who stopped by to hang out so I could have someone to talk to- THANK YOU!

Have I mentioned that I am surrounded by the BEST friends EVER?

***I AM***

Since I tore my meniscus and fully ruptured my ACL, I will be having surgery on March 14th. I wasn't nervous at ALL until I watched this this video- I could have definitely passed on that one! The only reason I watched was because the kids kept asking ?'s that I didn't really have answers to. So I told them that we could find a video on YouTube...

Sure enough, we were all wide-eyed and slightly grossed out. Yes, I know it was NOT the best video to show young children, but it was the FIRST one that came up when I Googled it. {Google's fault, not mine!}

Really, the only benefit to all of this is that my parents will be here this upcoming weekend and I can't wait to see them! {...and yes, I can watch movies with my leg(s) kicked up and not feel SLIGHTLY guilty about it ;) }

So, my expectations of the weeks to follow are:

Lots of rest

Lots of movies

Lots of laziness

LOTS of pain

and LOTSa {catching-up} BLOGGING :)

Like always Babe, and probably a little more so...

MISSING YOU

Come away with me...

It's almost Valentines Day- the holiday that I've always thought was a little SILLY. Why do people make an extra special effort ONE day a year? Shouldn't EVERY day be a special effort to let the someone special in your life know how MUCH you love them?!?

I am so grateful to have had you in my life to share and grow our love together. I think in this past year, you and I learned a lot about love. Love is NOT about words {sometimes you couldn't even talk to express it}, love is NOT about actions {sometimes you were too weak to hug or kiss}...but we ALL knew how much you loved us.

Love is deep, Love is REAL and Love is NEVER ending.

Love is patient, love is kind...

it...bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails... but the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7,13 {LOVE is switched out for Charity-which is the PURE love of Christ}

Although you are not here, I don't need a card, flowers or that {OH so delish} waxy chocolate to let me know that I am loved.

Our past 10 years together was a constant display of your love,

...and for THAT, I am FOREVER grateful!

{Hallie did this 2 years ago in Kindergarten}

"Love is the very essence of life. It is the pot of gold at the end of the

rainbow. Yet it is not found only at the end of the rainbow. Love is at the beginning also, and from it springs the beauty that arched across the sky on a stormy day. Love is the security for which children weep, the yearning of youth, the adhesive that binds marriage, and the lubricant that prevents devastating friction in the home; it is the peace of old age, the sunlight of hope shining through death. How rich are those who enjoy it in their associations with family, friends, and neighbors! Love, like faith, is a gift of God. It is also the most enduring and most powerful virtue."

-Gordan B. Hinckley

On Valentines Day, I will celebrate with the OTHER loves in my life.

I have a bottle of cider in the fridge to do "cheers" with the kids.

Cheers to our love

~ and ~

Cheers for giving me a blessed 10 years with you in my life...

Love you HOT stuff!

Lots of hugs and LOTS of kisses

But, I do have one special Valentine's wish- visit me in my dreams

"I want to wake up with the rain falling on a tin roof

while I'm safe there in your arms...

so all I ask is for you to come away with me in the night.

Come away, WITH Me...."

Celebrations...

Today is a special day-it's your BIRTHDAY!

~Your 31st Birthday~

Of course it would be VERY easy to get sad about NOT being able to celebrate such a day with you. But we don't like to sulk around, so we will try to do the exact opposite. I asked the kids what they would like to do for your birthday and this is the list they came up with...

~Send balloons up to Heaven {I'm so glad we started doing this tradition}

~Go to Daddy's favorite restaurant -I asked what restaurant and this was Hallie's reply:

Hallie: The peanut butter one!!!

Me: What is the peanut butter one?

Hallie: You know, the one where you eat the peanuts and throw the shells on the floor?!?

Me: {Laughing really hard} Ohhhhhh, you mean Texas Roadhouse?!?

Hallie: Ya, ya THAT place

~Have a dance party with Dad's favorite music {we like music and we LovE to dance}

~Sing Happy Birthday and eat cake

~Play Dad's favorite game {not quite sure what that was :/}

~and then... we can watch Daddy's video! {the life slide show played at Ryan's funeral- I can't wait to share it with all of you when I get to finishing his TEAM RYAN blog...}

How awesome are those kiddos?!?

They just planned a super fun day for ALL of us in YOUR honor. Of course they did start adding in a bunch of activities THEY wanted to do and we may just slip a few of those things in as well;) But no matter what, we are going to make YOUR special day as happy and memorable as possible.

~Happy Birthday Ryan~

We LOVE You!

I hope you are enjoying an eternity of Heavenly celebrations...